HeLLO May!

While i was browsing through Google, which i seem to be doing quite frequently these days. I noticed this picture that just happened to pop at me. It is so beautiful, and portrays a delicate aspect of love during this random May weather. It signifies hope and inspiration while still maintaining a delicate touch. Well Ladies and Gentlemen MAY has finally come. For many of you it symbolizes the end of college classes and the start of an early summer. For others it resembles more parties and hangouts with past loved ones and new encounters. May resembles to me a light through a long tunnel that i thought i would never get out of. The months past so quickly that i didn't even see it coming. Today the weather is unexpected. Who would think that in May it would start raining cats and dogs? Well it is happening at this instant. Rain stops and then comes as if it were mocking our intelligence. No worries though, the sun will appear once again and all will be forgotten. I still have these troublesome spots all over my body and face. They haunt me daily and i am starting to have nightmares about them. I just want to get better and live a normal life as many people are currently doing. I long for a Starbucks Caramel Frappuchino, i feel deprived of my ethics and morals in these four walls i call my room. I have not seen proper light in so long that i don't even know what my block looks like anymore. I yearn to see random people laughing and getting pulled by the energy of New York City and what comes with it. I crave the vibe i once had, that part of me in which i proclaimed to be a daredevil roaming the streets of New York City late at night with people that i called my friends. I worry about what's too come and if those fears turn to realization what becomes of me and how do i deal? I resist temptation with all these worries and though lately i have not been myself, I resist evolving to someone who i don't recall. I refuse to believe that many people can adapt to certain situations. I know i am not a Chameleon but what is left for me to do? With this entry i leave my many thoughts of my disastrous face which have caused me to hide from the world that i have grown up falling in love with. It has caused me to distance my self away from my loved ones and hide in a rotating box, never knowing when its going to stop, and if it does stop where does that leave me? Will i know what to do next? How will i get back up and conquer all these questions that of which i seem to have no response for? Ah the Irony of the moment! Yearn for those who have gone afar and Cherish those who live the moment with you.