Obliviously Retarded

To the world I am but a speck, a stranger to society and it's laws. I finally need some "Blog Therapy," I need to let my thoughts breathe. Since they have been confined to blackness a feeling I believe is eternity. I feel inadequate in every possible way, a failure of sorts, it's ridiculous that I failed a logical test. I was not surprised... I did not set my expectations high... I didn't even try and fool myself and yet I feel compelled to be angry. Not at a particular person, not at the world, but at myself. It seems that the easiest questions are the hardest to answer, I fear that my brain has become my enemy. It's a battle of self and there is no winner... some people say follow your heart, but how can you follow your heart when your brain speaks sending throbbing vibrations to your fingertips. And without knowing it you have already made your decision. It's hard when others expect more of you but its even harder when you disappoint the person who in your eyes, you have to impress. I don't know when my time will come when I impress those that have doubted me, but when that time comes I will reign in victory. It's hard when my life has been filled with failures and not enough success but I am only human. I've heard that in order to be successful one must encounter failures and if this is true then how many more failures can I take? Even though I am writing my thoughts in order to control my anger issues I still feel the same. Maybe because I feel stupid that I failed a simple test which I believe a junior high school student could have passed. I still blame it on those X-Rays!!! Does it even count if I strained my eyes to see the objects and from this I gained a migrain? Well screw the government.. smarter people have failed the same logical test and they survived so I guess I can too! Stick that in your juice box and suck it!

And no I am not preaching..I'm just saying!

Silence is Golden

Do you ever feel like the world around you speaks loudly? Or that you are going crazy when you hear more than one sound at the same time? Don't you just wish you could say " Hey world, it's me (enter name here) would you just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!" Everywhere you go the sounds seem to haunt you, especially if your the type to love the silence. You can't escape it not even if your death because then your mind starts to turn against you. You see you might think you got rid of hearing sounds but then all of a sudden your mind starts to play tricks on you. The memories of the sounds heard before are now engraved in your brain which then contructs these hallucinations. I don't even know why I am rambling on about sounds.... it's probably because I am tired of hearing my twin sister talk about nonsense over the phone for hours. She has no consideration that I am trying to blog what's so ever. Threats do not scare her, me screaming back doesn't help much either, bribing her, glaring, cursing, shushing her and the list goes on and on. I eventually start talking to myself.. this is what has become of me, oh the irony!

My mind is furious because due to the fact that she is hogging up all my thinking space I cannot continue writing my blog. Then a thought appears in my mind. I have a flashback of when I worked at NYU University, my boss (Mr. Miyaghi) always said that once I head to college I would learn that "Silence is Golden."

Sitting here staring at my four burgundy walls (*Note to self: Walls need a paint job ASAP) I start to ponder and I think about the old saying "If life hands you lemons make lemonade," or something like that. So being the dearest sister that I am, I threaten her with blasting music.

::::Exaggerated Version:::::::

Twin sister: LA...La..La..la...la...la..la..

Me: Can you be quiet!

Twin sister: -_- La....la...la...la....la...laa

Me: If you don't shut up I am going to blast music

Twin sister: Aha.. yeah right.. Lallalalalaaaa

Me: :::Takes extreme measure.. reaches for the volume and... Music plays::::

Twin sister: :-(

Me: >:)

:::::::The END:::::

SO the lesson learned was that sound is powerful.

What is more powerful is silence, the tranquility that one feels when encountered by it is calming. When faced with the power of silence I applaud it, it is very rare that I get a moment where I can think clearly without someone shouting my name or bothering me at every available moment. Silence is as precious as the words you use. Writing this blog makes me wonder and gives me an idea for another blog post..:

***What if we lived in a world that was filled with silence? Would one surrender to the idea of helplessness? Would words lose meaning and depth? What then? Would the world be a better place? What do you think?***

Happy Birthday my Goldita Supreme!

This comes from the bottom of my heart and I hope you like it, although we are in a recession and I can't buy you a gift I believe that these words which you are about to read is as good as any present I could ever buy you.

Our first encounter is like a long forgotten dream I remember having. A dream in which the details are as blurry as the day after a night of drinking with your closest friends. A long forgotten dream where you don't know how you got there and why but your glad that it evolved into a memory. A recollection, a trophy that of which you can put up in a wall and stare with joy. Throughout life everyone will encounter various types of people, people that come and go like those pair of shoes you onced loved that were too worn out you threw them away. That unforgettable summer where a friendship was formed, a sort of bond that at the moment was unbreakable. We never saw this coming, a surprise to all that were present and those that witnessed days after. You dissapeared for a while and then I saw you on the train ride towards the school, must have been fate now that I think about it. Although this might sound cheesy and a little gay, just bare with me since I am known to be the one with no emotion. I remember way back when, in our boring school days where everyone couldn't wait until they heard the bell ring signaling the end of the day. Everyone who was anyone would go to the park in Union Square and unsurprisingly you stood out from the rest. Your enormous poof poof of a hair, your big ass boobs, and ofcourse who could forget those outrageous outfits that only you could pull off with a pair of Uggs or some Jordans. You stood out yes indeed, and I always pondered " She seems cool and outgoing can I be her friend?" Well that day finally came when we both rode the 1 train all the way to 191st what happened next was the shocker of all shocks. I asked her where she lived and she said 189, I immediately smiled and said " Me too!... what ave?" to this she smiled in response just as excited as I and said " Audobon." Imagine me as giddy as a kid in a candy store, this is when I knew that Carla and I would be good friends... best friends.. and dare I say even long lost sisters?!! After this realization we became close, no one and nothing could get in the way of our friendship and because of you along the way I have met some awesome people who I share fond memories with as well. I was like a stray puppy (a cute stray puppy! =] ) who you took in with open arms into your group of friends. We became the Party Crew and the rest is history. On this special day, one that has brought you many painful memories but at the same time; wonderful moments that I have personally witnessed, I wish you a happy birthday. You have become a very special person throughout the last two years of our friendship. My mother has always said that you should always pick the friends that YOU want, don't let friends pick you and I am glad that I picked you as my friend. We have gone through a long journey, a journey filled with tears, emptyness, love, memories, photos that have captured the moment, and most importantly a journey that has made us grow into the people we are today. Even though you put yourself down at times and you pick at your failures instead of your success, I can honestly say that I love you for who you are. Not what I see on the outside but what you have shown me that is on the inside, a Carla that many have yet to encounter. Below are the reasons why I cherish our friendship even though at times I may get mad at you but it's because I love you dearly. Oh let me count the ways..... ^_^

10 Reasons About You That Make You Special:

1. You give more than you get
2. The way you can make any bad situation into a good one
3. Your hair
4. Your outfits
5. Your nails
6. The way your upfront about everything no matter what it is
7. Your unselfish
8. Your random and weird and unique all at the same time!
9. Your a great friend who anyone can trust
10. Your determined

*Even though you may not believe this, I believe that you can go far in life... your a beautiful person don't let anyone tell you other wise. At times you may find yourself in tough situations, days where you find yourself lonely and helpless, battles that only you can fight, but at the end of the day I know you will succeed. You will evolve into an even greater person and with this growth on this special day I just hope you will remember these words I am giving you as a present. I know you have some defects but we are all human, just remember I will always be here even if you forget me or if we both go our seperate ways, I'll still reach out my hand in hopes that when one day you are in need you'll grab it and confide in me. In my eyes you'll always be a great friend, I wish you the best and hope that I can share with you many more birthdays. Through our ups and downs, and the distance that might develope I am grateful for those special times, those times only you and I can recall.. our special moments. You are as great as you wish to be, life's successes comes with many great failures.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born" - Anonymous

"The best way to predict your future is to create it" ~Peter Drucker

The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show. ~Author Unknown

****"Change for the better and evolve to be the greatest"- Bianka Espinal"****

Happy Birthday Love!

News Out of The Norm

In today's world we see many unusual things that might or might not catch someone's eyes let alone give them nightmares or have them wondering WTF? Although I can sadly say I am used to seeing weird people and things because I am from NYC nothing beats reading an article that is said to be "Weird but True."

Have you ever been in a situation where you are at the checkout counter for lets say Target and there is a long line behind. A mother is with her child and he refuses to listen or pay attention. I know we have all been in a situation like this, seen one, or participated in one so don't act like this is not you, because in reality it could be YOU! I know scary thought, but this little misbehavior from your annoying son or daughter can now be stopped! ::Read on:::

So you are waiting to pay for your items and the kid is still being annoying to the point where... (We have all heard this before in some point in time of our life) the mother says " IF YOU DON"T STOP I AM GOING TO HIT YOU IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE AND I WILL NOT CARE IF I GET ARRESTED SO BEHAVE!" And all you can do is just turn around and stare in disbelief or maybe you are the type to just turn around and shake your head, feeling bad for the little kid and the embarrasing situation the mother has now created.

Well fear no longer! Apparently hitting your child is no longer necessary. Especially to 35 year old Dawn Lynn Hogan who resides in BANGOR, Pennsylvania. Allegedly this soon to be convict was arguing with her son because he would not listen to her. So what would be the insane thing to do but to go inside the house and get a gun and shoot your son in his feet to get him to listen. Now would be the good time to ask yourself.. What has this world come to? What ever happened to loving your child and ridding him of harm? Hitting your kid with your bare hands or with an occasional belt here and there? Now mothers have upgraded to shooting their kids with guns? I mean what went up her butt and stayed there? You can read the short article in the below link.

http://news.aol.com/article/police-say-pa-woman-fired-shot-near-sons/499154

If that was my mom and I was not listening she would just stop talking and when I least expect it she will appear at my door with a crazed look of inflicting payback for earlier. And with that same look I will know I have to run for my life. I guess it's different in every ethnic background, you see I come from a Hispanic background where hitting your child with a belt everytime something bad is being done is a good sign of a great upbringing. As soon as you see your mom with a belt you know your going to get it and there is no way in hell that you will be winning at the end of it. Ofcourse she will say " This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you," but that's what they want you to believe so you get foolishly tricked into thinking that your mother is feeling the exact same pain.

So you see it is out of love that a mother feels the need to discipline her child with weapons and her bare hands. If at some point you feel the need to teach her a lesson just know that She will get you back! It might not be at that precise moment, or it may not be the day after or the day after that but rest assured she is gonna do it. You might think you got away but you have been fooled my friend just like America was fooled into believing we were strong and powerful and look where we are now.

A word of advice: Listen to your parents because they are always in the right and if they are in the wrong just nod your head and smile like a good child should do. White lies don't hurt as long as your protecting your life from the woman who gave it to you. If she happens to catch on because you did not lie correctly and got caught... dumbass... then I suggest you close your eyes, count to 10 and..... wait for it.... wait for it.... ::SMACK!::

The Extremities of Texting

Have you ever had an insatiable urge to text even though you have nothing to say? Or do you get tired of talking on the phone and have switched to texting on a regular basis? Well according to the NYTimes texting has had an enormous increase no thanks to carriers like AT&T Mobility and Verizion Wireless. With many plans consisting of unlimited text, it is no wonder that many teenagers have become addicted. Apparently, texting is so addictive that many students have found various ways to sneak in a text or two. The NYTimes states that " American teenagers have sent and received an average of 2, 272 text messages per month in the fourth quarter of 2008, according to the Nelson Company - almost 80 messages a day, more than double the average of a year earlier." Due to this newly found epidemic physicians and psychologists are beginning to worry about the effect of texting. I for one can say that I text everyday, although my texting does not exceed more than 50 messages daily. For others like Annie Wagner who is 15 years old, texting has become her drug. She used to text "as fast as as she typed on a regular keyboard," talk about having a hidden talent! Mysteriously a few months ago she developed a painful cramping in her thumbs, even though it is not clear if the cause of this is texting. Below are some pros and cons of texting in my opinion.

Pros: Texting can be used for..

• Faster communication amongst family and peers


• If a phone call is not appropriate a text message can be (example: If you have a certain itch because you did something last night)


• Makes it easier to get a point across


• If you do not want to last an hour talking on the phone just to make an appointment with a friend a text message solves your problem.


• Makes you use your brain, gives importance to the term: "Think before you say something"


• If you want to say something private to your loved one and don't have the courage to say it out loud then texting can help.

Cons: Texting can be used to..

• Use it to cheat in school


• Texting in inappropriate places (example: in an important meeting at work, while driving, walking across the street, at church etc..)


• Texting causes a lack of communication via phone


• The English language goes to waste, people start speaking the way they would in a text message (example: k ttyl btw I <3>
  
• Lead to huge misunderstandings, many wonder what type of tone one used for a certain text message.

As you can see texting has it's ups and downs especially for people who become to dependent of it. Now a days we have commercials that state the obvious to viewers, while typing this one commerical comes to mind. A couple of months ago while changing channels every two minutes I came upon a commerical. I forgot what carrier the commerical was advertising but what caught my attention was how ridiculous it was, while at the same time giving some truth to what the teenage generation has become. Below is the link to watch this infamous video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nIUcRJX9-o

Overall, texting has had a major impact in our society as well as our generation. For many it has become an obsession, non the less it is useful. My advice is to text message but not to the point where your heart increases at the sound of your ringer or the sound of your phone vibrating, telling you that you have one new text message. If you find that you can not live without texting someone then getting help is the next step. It is incredible how much time we spend text messaging someone throughout the day while we could have been doing something productive. For example, the 13 year old girl who won the texting championship, in my mind I am immediately thinking what the hell can a young girl be talking about? I believe she can type 151 character phrases in 42 seconds! But wait it gets better, the parents actually condone this and after she won the championship her winning phrase was " I sent over 4,000 text messages this month and I can't believe I actually won the whole competition.... Now I want to go shopping." At the end of the day we are all human beings and we get tempted to text rather than make an effort and call someone over the phone. I am a victim of this popular craze but fortunately in most scenarios I get bored, or have something to do. So how far will this texting phenomenon go? We will just have to wait and see for the world is full of surprises and new ideas.

Smooth texting everyone ^_^